hollerback@you

Christmas 2011 | 6:19 PM

Its only a half day in the office today.
Bakanishi's jap soft club hits are on repeat and i don't understand a word. But his autotune is brightening up my morning.
I don't understand how the others in the office are attempting to work when someone's eight year old kid is in the office and verbally enjoying a comic superhero cartoon on a spare laptop without earphones. Its Christmas, everyone wants to make it feel like Christmas.


language | 12:39 AM

balancing a pen on a piece of paper, or just positioning your fingers over a keyboard to record your thoughts in words is slightly nerve wrecking.

My thoughts define me, they shape me on the inside, moulding my heart into a unique pattern and eventually this pattern resurfaces for people around me to see. But to write in a public journal, or a open blog is like a highway for these internal wonderings to shoot straight out through my skin and display to everyone the morals that i guide myself along. It is not slightly nerve wrecking, it is very unsettling.

Even so, I recognise an insecurity when I see one, and while i am still young, versatile, and strong hearted I visualize myself as a transformer, twisting the insecurities that plague teenage restless nights into personal momentums. I would like to write, or express clearly onto paper, while emptying myself of anxiety when they are worthless to be kept within. If I could use words that beat the same rhythem of my anxious heart, hopefull i will feel just a little bit better. language is not meant for communcation within souls, but within a soul maybe the mind and the heart will begin to understand each other a little better.


30DLC - Someone from my childhood | 9:02 AM

The 30 Day Letter Challenge
Write to - Someone from my childhood.

Dear Shanzxzxzxz <3,

Its crazy, not even me, but everyone around me knows that my childhood somehow equates to Shanmei, the longest friend I've ever had, and the longest it seems to be for anyone else's friendship.

I am so proud of it, and sometimes, I'm not.

I see some people exchange wall posts on Facebook with words like "my best friend for 10 or 15 years!" and I think "I have a crazy awesome friend you can't even compare!" But then sometimes I am so ashamed, when even after twenty stinking years I still spell your name as Shan Mei. and I take a few moments to recall the proper spelling for Qin Yuan. Or when you always wish me "Have a safe trip!" and "Yayyyyy! You're back!!!" when I leave and return from almost every trip, while I fail to properly remember the dates of your flights. When you say "Love you" and "Miss you" to me, and you really mean it. I always smile when i see those words from you, and my heart overfills. I am incredibly proud, I hardly even say "Love you" to my parents, but thinking about replying those words to you makes me ten times more shy.

I moved church with you, because for most of the time, the word "Church" equates to you. I'd miss you horridly if we never met often. I don't tell you about my most upsetting moments, in fact they aren't told to anyone at all. But I just do plain chit-chat sleepy Sunday small talk with you, and I am healed. You can guess my thoughts even my mouth is shut.You know how I was soooo awkward years ago, and I still am now. You let me cling onto for a day a week for years! I disrupted your social life as "the girl always right next to Shan".

I read some time ago, that we start of as kids, growing not into adults, but rather, adult-like kids.

I think it applies, and no matter where I may go, you can probably give better guesses than my mother on my next move. I'm so glad I met you so long ago, and I'm even happier I'm going to continue growing with you. This such a crappy end to the letter, but thats because its not the proper ending in reality. I don't want to guess where we'll lead each other to next, because it'll be more surprising this way.

I guess, I'll see you next Sunday.

With lots of love,
Joy.


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because she cares | 4:45 AM

I finished Notes from My Travels by Angelina Jolie and it was rad. It was a library copy, but I will keep my eye out for it in the bookshops.

I googled to find out more on her humanitarian work, and wikipedia never disappoints with their links! I'll keep my time and hard drive open for space to watch the movie Beyond Borders and the MTV Special of her and a big UN hotshot in Africa. I'll describe him in awesomer terms when i finish the series.

and hey! more links for me to waste time staring at this luminous screen.

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| 6:54 AM

"Lollipops turn into cigarettes. The innocent ones turn into sluts. Homework goes in the trash. Mobile phones are being used in class. Detention becomes suspension. Soda becomes vodka. Bikes become cars. Kisses turn into sex. Remember when getting high meant swinging on the playground? When protection meant wearing a helmet? When the worst things you could get from boys were cooties? Dad’s shoulders were the highest place on earth and mum was your hero? Your worst enemies were your siblings. Race issues were about who ran the fastest. War was only a card game. And the only drug you knew was cough medicine. When wearing a skirt didn’t make you a slut. The most pain you felt was when you skinned your knees, and goodbyes only meant until tomorrow? And we couldn’t wait to grow up".

- Unknown.

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30DLC - Someone not in your country | 8:13 PM

The 30 Day Letter Challenge
Write to - Someone not in your country.

Dear Lemmz,

You're the one person that made me fully appreciate the connective power of the internet.
Somehow, somewhere, there is magic in online journals. Its crazy. The connection seemed like it was just waiting to be discovered, all laid out ready like a solid steady friendship just built on words and lots of figurative hearts.

Recieving an email with a "<3" from you was love, seriously.
I never thought it would be better than recieving one via text.

I hope your mother is alright. I really still do.
And i hope you're doing great there in snowy Canada!

Cheers,
Joy

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| 1:33 AM

The 30 Day Letter Challenge
Write to - Someone you miss the most.

Dear Steph,

I miss you the most!
thought you outta know.

Joy.

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Hong Kong - May 2010 | 6:17 AM

All Blacks vs. Wallabies

the photo dumps | i don't trust my hard-drive

  • 30DLC: Letters to Love
  • Favs: unforgettable

    • About Joy

    i eat SOIL
    & i spell my name as SHOY
    & i look good in ALUMINIUM FOIL.
    i treat lovers as my TOYS
    & i flirt with girls* and BOYS
    & my next target's ---
    cause i am JOY

    copyright KAIQI&ANAN(:



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